Dude Fights Like A Lady

By: Mark Carrillo

Most MMA fans have heard of Fallon Fox recently. She or he is the fighter that had his or her bing bong chopped off and wants to fight against female MMA fighters. Now before I go any further I would like to say, I have no problem with gay people or transgenders, I think everyone has the right to get married and spend the rest of their days in little marriage prison. I also have thought of a clothing line for transgender people called “Misstache”, so save all your “he hates gay people” comments for yourself. I’ve even once been checked out by a gay guy, and though I was a little grossed out I also was a little flattered.

Now I have seen female fighters beat up male fighters in the gym before while sparring, but to put a man up against a woman in a sanctioned MMA bout would be an embarrassment to the sport. Not saying women can’t handle themselves, but I feel it would turn into some kind of freak show. Probably be a little dog and pony act as the co-main event, Juggalos out in the parking lot tailgating, maybe a clown with stilts walking around. That’s not what MMA is about anymore, MMA has come a long ways since the days of “human cockfighting” and I would hate to see what this would do to the sport. Rules are rules, no drugs, no groin kicks, no eye pokes, and no men hitting women. For 30 years Fallon Fox was a man with a penis, he grew up a man, developed bone structure like a man, and until recently stood up when he peed. I just don’t think that now because his beans and weenie are gone that he should be able to hit women.

I talked to a couple female fighters and they all pretty much said the same thing when I asked if they would fight Fallon Fox, “Hell no!” It just flat out isn’t fair which kind of sucks for him or her. No guy will want to fight him and if they somehow find another transgender to fight it will only be aired on worldstarhiphop.com while a bunch of people in the background laugh and yell out “Worldstar!” Fallon Fox obviously didn’t think the chopping of his wanker thing all the way through before he did it; but who hasn’t done that? Some people get their left ear pierced or a tattoo without thinking it all the way through, others cut their penis off.

I do wish you the best of luck Fallon Fox, and if fighting doesn’t work out you can be the face of Misstache Clothing Line. (Patent Pending)

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