Written by Robert Littal of BlackSports.com/BreakLamps.com
People wrongly assume when I am talking about moist dudes I am speaking about the physical aspects of being a man, but they are wrong.
Being moist is a mentality, and it is a mentality that is doing great destruction to the male species.
Moistness in men, is very easy to spot.
The number #1 trait of a moist dude?
Men shouldn’t really care what people think of us, if you are your own man and you are doing you, how you are perceived by people outside of your inner circle shouldn’t mean anything.
Moist dudes on the other hand, overreact to everything you say to them. They lash out, name call, use the word “HATER” a lot and get emotional.
When you are overly sensitive it means you are insecure. Insecurity leads to moist like actions. The following is a list of actions you can use as a guide in spotting ‘moist‘ dudes:
Insecure men like to slap around women and think that makes them a man.
Insecure men like to sucker punch dudes when it is 10 to 1 in their favor.
Insecure have a lot of “keyboard courage” when they can hide behind a computer monitor.
Calling women bitches, hoes, basic, sluts and etc. because she won’t give you her number that is moist.
Moist dudes are followers I like to call them:
Mason Betha types
As Jay Z said:
“Check your own video you will always be number 2.”
Men shouldn’t be groupies. You shouldn’t be tweeting Joe Budden 30 times in the hopes he acknowledges your tweet. You shouldn’t be defending grown men who don’t even know you exist. You shouldn’t show up one week on Club Pics rocking “All Black Everything” like Jay Z and the next week you in skinny jeans and a scarf in the summer like you Kanye West.
At that point you are no different than a woman throwing her panties on stage for Trey Songz, you are moist.
There is supposed to be a competitive fire in men. Most men want to be #1, we don’t want to be Farnsworth Bentley. Are you Ronnie Devoe or are you Bobby Brown? At least try to be Ralph. Kanye West maybe arrogant and rude, but I respect that he wasn’t cool with being Memphis Bleek Part Deux. Being afraid to be the man is #moist.
Men shouldn’t fawn over women.
It’s moist to profess your love for the first girl eliminated on Ocho’s Ultimate Catch.
Bathwaterslurping is moist and women don’t respect that.
You want to know if you are a moist dude in regards to women? Use this simple mathematical equation.
If you have 10 female friends, how many do you confidently think you could break lamps with if the opportunity presented itself and how many talk to you about the guys they break lamps with.
If you are normal guy that should be around 5, but even if it is 4 that isn’t bad, but if it is 1 or 0 you are a moist dude.
Every woman you meet is not going to be sexually attracted to, but if you are always the “buddy”, you “moist”.
Women are reading this article hoping their “moist” male friends aren’t reading because they don’t want to lose their shoe shopping partner.
Your name maybe Derek, but women know you as:
Moist dudes are trying to “make love”, real dudes trying to slap ass, pull hair and break lamps.
You make love to your wife, not Tayrn from Pod 29.
Men shouldn’t whine or complain. No one wants to hear your “sob” story about how no one likes you or how women always do you wrong. No one wants to hear that no one listens to your demo or your restaurant you been planning to open for two years. No one want to hear you be negative about everything and ever situation imaginable. Non moist dudes don’t have time to complain and whine, you know why?
Because they are working.
As a man there are some things you can be moist about, your kids and your family that’s it. Anything else is over the top.
Men shouldn’t be drama filled.
I will admit when “Bad Rob” comes out from time and I have to shut down a MySpace Model or random idiot, I am just encouraging the “drama” that is “moist” on my part.
But for the most part, men should stay away from drama and gossip.
Men shouldn’t care about who Kim Kardashian is dating or if T.O. only dates Spanish women. The important word to take from that last sentence is ‘care’.
We can talk about, we can give our opinions on it, but we shouldn’t care. When Lebron left the Cavs and men were crying, burning jerseys and were sincerely hurt this guy who plays basketball left their town that is “ultra moist”.
When Dan Gilbert wrote his infamous letter, yes it was ether but it was ether dripped in “moistness”.
Moistness is based off emotion.
Not saying men shouldn’t be emotional, but you shouldn’t get emotional over a Kobe vs. Jordan debate or Nas vs. Jay Z or because your favorite video model is sleeping with Plies or because your chick wants to screw Drake.
That is just wasted energy and wasted emotion.
So when you are feeling moist fellas, just take a deep breath, sip on some Capri Sun and turn the AC on full blast. Trust me ladies like it when it’s cooler.