Back in the Leave it to Beaver days, it was customary when a gentleman took a young lady out he would come to her door with a dozen roses and a box of chocolates.
It was his way of “courting” her and impressing her family. Fast forward to 2010 where Rick Ross is considering “love making” music and things have change a little bit.
Men have changed and women have changed.
In 2010 being a “flower dude” is not what it use to be and in actuality you maybe hurting yourself as a man if you are quick to start “reggiewayning”.
Before I explain why being a “Flower Dude” is not a good thing, first let me give you the four women it is appropriate to get flowers for:
1- Your Wife/Serious Girlfriend
If you are in a serious relationship with a woman that loves you through good times and bad times, she deserves roses and whatever else you can think of to show your appreciation. Men are jacked up, when you find a good woman treat her right and buying flowers is a sweet gesture.
2- Your mom, grandma or any female in your family that helped raise you.
You should always show appreciation the females in your family. No matter if it’s your sister, your mom, your aunt or whomever. Randomly sending them some flowers very sweet thing to do.
3- True Female Friends
While you always want to break lamps with your “hot” female friends, alas you can’t sleep with everyone. But if you are a cool guy you will have true female friends who are down for you, have your back, give you their support and are fiercely loyal. Send them flowers to show your appreciation and to keep them happy.
4- Post Lamp Breaking Partners.
Only send flowers to the post lamp breaking partners if:
A- You were really good.
B- She was really good.
C- You want to do it again.
Don’t be mushy, just send the flowers and say “until next time”. She will be setting up a meeting shortly with you.
Now that we have gotten that out of the way let me explain to you why being a ‘flower dude‘ in 2010 is not the way to go.
A lot of people assume when I talk about ‘Flower Dudes’ that I literally mean giving flowers, that isn’t the case, it is more of the mentality than the actual flowers that is the problem.
Flower dudes are the type of men who are either:
B- Exhausted all their other options.
Let’s examine “Lazy Flower” guy first. This is the type of men who have so little self confidence in himself that he figures the only way for him to get women is to throw petals at a woman’s feet. He is the type of guy who sees a woman in the McDonalds trying to decide what movie she wanted to get from Red Box just so he can put in his wrinkle dollar for her.
Don’t be a “wrinkle dollar dude”. Don’t be the guy at the office who likes a girl and sends anonymous poetry to her desk. Lazy flowers dudes think that paying for a pretty girl’s gas will make her leave her fiancée of two years. It doesn’t work like that.
If you are a “baller” you can get away with being a lazy flower dude (sometimes) because women are attracted to money, fame and perceived power. But, if you are regular dude buying random women you just met a whopper from BK isn’t going to get it done.
Now, the out of options flower dude is actually worse than the lazy flower dude. When a man is “chasing” a woman and losing miserably it is similar to a NFL team that is down three touchdowns in the 4th quarter.
So what do they do?
They start throwing “Hail Mary’s”.
Roses, candy, coach bags, that red bottom shoe, singing Jodeci on the voice mail, poems, professing love on twitter and etc.
The funny thing about “Hail Mary’s” are they rarely work. There is a reason they call them a “wing and prayer”. You are hoping it works, but hope doesn’t get you very far in the Book of Nohology, or on the football field for that matter.
I know what the fellas are thinking:
“Rob you told why we shouldn’t be a flower dude, but you didn’t tell us why it doesn’t work.”
It is very simple.
Imagine you worked at a job for 10 years and every Friday your boss bought in a box of 12 glazed donuts. Every Friday at 8am when you walked in you knew you would see those same glazed donuts.
Then one Friday you come in and there are 11 glazed donut and one jelly donut.
You might not even like Jelly donuts, but you would notice it, it would stand out you might wonder how did it even get into the box, you might even take a bite.
Men are like the glazed donuts to women. Every day men across the world are sending flowers, sending poems, buying gifts, professing love, bathwaterslurping and catering to the female ego.
So when you are “Flower Dude” you don’t stand out, you blend in.
If you didn’t hear me let me say it again a little louder.
WHEN YOU ARE A FLOWER DUDE YOU DON’T STAND OUT, YOU BLEND IN.
Contrary to popular belief, women (the good ones at least) don’t want men who “bow down” to them they want men who are up front and honest with them.
If you don’t believe me, the next woman you meet that receives flowers from a man they are not in a relationship with, ask them this simple question:
“Those flowers are really nice; he was really sweet to send you those. You must be breaking lamps.”
I guarantee you 97 out of 100 times she will reply:
“Oh he just a friend.”
3 out of 100 not bad though right? Sort of like a Hail Mary….